I have been keeping the friends in Iran in my thoughts and prayers, especially on this day when the seven Bahá’í leaders in Iran were to have gone on trial for false charges. So one of my last prayers last night was for them, and I had an unbelievable dream…I think I was in Iran, although the setting actually felt like Green Acre Bahá’í School, with large, open green fields. There were the enemies- government of Iran, and those that are against the Bahá’ís, etc, and then there were the Bahá’ís and those on the side of the Bahá’ís. We were all spread out on this large open field and the enemies were shooting at us, kind of typical old fashioned battle style, although I don’t actually remember bullets flying and I felt like it was more of an abstract, mental battle. I didn’t really have fear of being shot at and killed- I just had an overall negative feeling of mostly sadness. Then the battle broke up momentarily and each enemy had been assigned one Bahá’í to sort of “watch” and make sure they didn’t hurt anyone I suppose, kind of like what they do in sports. So this blond girl, seemed to be American, kind of like me from the outside, had been assigned to me. Suddenly me and this Persian guy were standing facing a small group of these enemies and he begins to chant a prayer in Persian. I assumed he was a Bahá’í, although I was struggling to turn casually and look at his necklace to see which symbol was there, to make sure. When he finished, I began to timidly speak to the group in a kind, soft manner. “The Bahá’ís are not bad people,” I said. “They are not trying to hurt anyone. They are loving and kind and obey the government.” And the blond girl turns to me and says, “That’s a lie. I have documented proof here that they are spies for Israel, that they are against the Iranian government etc, etc” and she showed me this big black book that they all had which was supposedly the proof. And I said, “No, that’s not true. If you actually got to know the Bahá’ís you would realize the truth.” And that’s when I woke up, with the realization that there are always lies and that it doesn’t do any good to argue back and forth. The way to demonstrate the truth to such people is only by our example. The interesting part about the dream is that it appeared to represent the current struggle to defend the rights of the Bahá’ís in Iran, but it ended up being a broader, world wide issue, involving easterners and westerners on both sides. And I remembered that the Master and the Guardian foretold this future opposition to the Faith, even, and especially, in the West, and the “mental tests” that it would bring to the believers. I had not yet really witnessed this western opposition to the Faith or to its believers. Sure, there are those that have no interest in it, and there are those that argue against its validity, but all-out opposition, I have yet to see or hear about. And I certainly couldn’t imagine a westerner, or at least American since they are who I know, in support of the obviously and cruelly unjust attitude towards and treatment of the Bahá’ís in Iran. Until today. No need to go into the details, but it confirmed the prophetic nature of the dream, as do the following quotes.


"Let not, however, the invincible army of Bahá'u'lláh, who in the West, and at one of its potential storm-centers is to fight, in His name and for His sake, one of its fiercest and most glorious battles, be afraid of any criticism that might be directed against it. Let it not be deterred by any condemnation with which the tongue of the slanderer may seek to debase its motives. Let it not recoil before the threatening advance of the forces of fanaticism, of orthodoxy, of corruption, and of prejudice that may be leagued against it. The voice of criticism is a voice that indirectly reinforces the proclamation of this Cause. Unpopularity but serves to throw into greater relief the contrast between it and its adversaries; while ostracism is itself the magnetic power that must eventually win over to its camp the most vociferous and inveterate amongst its foes."

Shoghi Effendi, The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 35
(Compilations, NSA USA - Developing Distinctive Baha'i Communities)



"And yet, how often we seem to forget the clear and repeated warnings of our beloved Master, who in particular during the concluding years of his mission on earth, laid stress on the severe mental tests that would inevitably sweep over his loved ones of the West ... tests that would purge, purify and prepare them for their noble mission in life."

(Shoghi Effendi, Letters from the Guardian to Australia and New Zealand, p. 1)

I'm starting to really identify with the concept of crisis and victory woven throughout Ruhi book 4 of the history of the Faith. Now, I still don't know if the victory comes as a direct result of the crisis (as in passing a test), if it comes as a result of extreme prayers in response to the moments of extreme crisis, or if it is simply God's way of alleving the pain that would otherwise destroy us. I tend to think it could be a combination of the three, life being profound as it is. If I am counting correctly, I think last night was breakdown number 4 of Argentina, meaning an episode of extreme loneliness, depression, and feeling of purposelessness. When I get in that way, I send text messages to everyone I think cares about me telling them how I feel and to pray for me. It does help a little to receive nice words of encouragement. My friend (participant in book 2) sent me a message telling me the page of the prayer in her new prayer book that she had said, and it was quite a perfect prayer for the situation indeed. Then late at night Silvia and Micaela finally said they were ready to do Ruhi (we were supposed to do it at 8), and slowly my mood turned around. It really is all about service. Seeing their capacity for service, and laughing over some of the ridiculous questions, and finally singing, really lifted my spirits. Every day after we study, we play a couple of the children's songs from book 3 so that we can learn them, and usually Micaela (the 15 year old) just listens while she colors, complaining about how bad they are. They are pretty cheesy when you first hear them, but once you pretend you're a kid again, they are a lot of fun. So she starts out as usually complaining, while I am joyfully singing along, and once the song ends she says, play it again, and starts singing along in a low voice. Then she says, play it again, and she sings along with more feeling. Then she says with excitement, I have an idea everybody! We play the first verse of the song, then we stop it and try to sing it without the cd, then we play the second verse and so on. And we go on like this, with slight variations in the method each time under Micaela's instruction, until Silvia and I couldn't stand the song any longer! And the laughter all throughout...you couldn't believe. They are not used to singing at all, and seeing them progress from disgust, to shyness, to uncontrollable laughter while attempting to sing, to actually normal, nice singing...such a feeling of happiness and fulfillment for all of us. This family hardly ever does anything together, let alone singing, so it was a very unifying experience. There is nothing like seeing progress right before your eyes. I don't like cliches but...it's the little things in life. To round off the story, today I received a call from Sohrab Yazdani, the man who descended from heaven, and he says, how are you my daughter? And he asks me when I'm coming to Burzaco (his community, where I almost went several times but plans kept changing, and I had assumed that I would no longer have the opportunity). He was one of the ones I sent a message to last night and I had said that I hoped to see him before I left. There were a few other people that I wanted to say bye to as well, and a couple that even said they would come say bye to me in the airport if nothing else. So, it looks like I may be going to Burzaco for my last 10 days but I'm keeping my fingers crossed because you just never know in Argentina...prayers are always welcome. One thing I do know, is that things happen for a reason, or in other words, crisis is always followed by victory.

Weeelll, I guess there´s a first for everything. Today I went to my first wake. I kind of hope it will be my last. There is something very strange about getting together in someone´s living room, chatting, smiling, catching up, drinking mate, even laughing at times, not too different from the typical Argentinian get-together, but with a dead body in the middle of the room. A man handed me the mate and right after went to the dead body and arranged the feet or the covering or something of the sort. Lets just say I had a hard time swallowing the mate.

The Ruhi process is amazing…It seems to remove the distinctions between people, namely, the us and them phenomenon, and makes “becoming a Bahá’í,” if even an issue at all, not an event but a life-long process. The Ruhi sequence of courses puts people from all walks of life into contact with the Word of God for this Day and accompanies them in service to humanity so that they are assisted in remaining on the path towards God for all of eternity.
On a more specific note, already 6 people in Rio Gallegos have finished book 1 within 2 weeks, with several others in the process, and we have started book 2. A group of college students choosing to study the Word of God every saturday night. I don’t feel like I can put the experience into words…I tried to above, but it doesn’t cut it. That’s why I have hesitated writing in the blog. I basically feel more of service than I have felt since I arrived in Argentina. Last night, I felt the joy of teaching to the fullest extent with the added joy of learning, when we began book 2; the understanding and spiritual progress gained from the study of book 1 was notable in the participants. I believe that no matter how many times we go through Ruhi we can get something out of it. So often we get caught up in the machinery of the Faith that we forget what it’s all about, and these courses and the participants that are new to the Faith are especially good at reminding us of those things.
God has truly succeeded in making my life more and more unpredictable, and rewarding me for making sacrifices. I may be bragging but I also may be just truthful, which is the foundation of all human virtues. I spent a good chunk of money to fly to the coldest part of Argentina in the winter (I hate the cold with a passion) for what I thought would be 2 weeks, spent another good chunk for a whoooole lot of excess luggage (can you believe the limit is 15 kilos??), and now may end up staying here until I return home, but all these details have become insignificant.

This is the story of Silvia, who gave me permission to retell it only after I told her it would be inspiring to others...in what way it is inspiring, I think depends on who you are. Take from it what you will, but please, just help me fulfill my promise and be inspired. About 9 years ago, she became very spiritually and mentally sick. She didn’t go into the details about the causes but that generally it was severe stress. I have never heard anything like it…she ended up in an autistic-like state. She couldn´t read and could hardly talk because she couldn´t focus long enough on the meanings of words. If she tried to say more than three words, she would start crying. Silvia has always been a very strong Baha’í, always praying and relying on God in difficult times, but because of this state she was in, she couldn´t pray. She knew that if she could only pray, she would improve. And she didn´t know how to ask anyone to pray for her or help her and, being a fairly isolated Bahá’í, it wasn´t likely that any Baha'ís would find out about her condition. She went to psychologists and tried many different medicines, but nothing helped. She was in the supermarket one day and ran into a former classmate of her daughter. He asked the typical how are you? and she replied simply, bad. He said, you have to talk to my mother. She can help you. I will tell her to call you. So the woman brought her to a sort of house of worship where people said prayers in Japanese, and everyday after work she would go and listen for a while. She felt like they were saying prayers for her that she couldnt say for herself. One day a Japanese master sort of person approached her and said she had to go to Japan. She could only heal if she went to Japan. She said she couldn´t go to Japan..she didn´t have any money. He said, you must look for money. If God wants you to go, you will find the money. So through a series of miracles she was able to easily and very quickly take out a loan and obtain a passport, which she recieved only a couple of days before leaving. So she went with this Japanese master and a few other people to Japan for about a month. The purpose was to visit the home of Oyasama, a Japanese woman who was around several years before Baha'u'llah´s time and who claimed to receive a revelation from God of specific prayers with associated movements, for healing. People all around the world have apparently been healed through these prayers, and visit her home either to thank her or to be healed, as her home has the strongest healing power. So everyday Silvia, with this group, would visit the home and say the prayers, and at the end of this "pilgrimage," as she was getting on the plane, she realized she was cured. She was asked to commit to saying the prayer once a month thanking Oyasama as well as sharing the healing prayer for every sick person she would come across. Indeed, she is very thankful to Oyasama, she said through tears, for she led her back to Bahá'u'lláh. She wrote to the Universal House of Justice about the "Tenrikyo Society" of Oyasama, asking about its status, and they replied by forwarding a message written on behalf of the Guardian...



“Truth is found everywhere. It would be indeed difficult to find a creed or a doctrine of any sort in this world that did not possess some facet of truth; this is what Bahá’u’lláh believed and taught. But everything has a source or focal centre; the focal centres of truth are not broken up or distributed at random, but, like unto the sun, are concentrated in one mighty source whom we call a Prophet or Manifestation of God. What we find in each other, and in various creeds, are rays from this source—but the source is the all-important thing, and to recognize and turn to it gives one an infinitely greater degree of strength and enlightenment than to try to find its rays, one here and one there, scattered about among our fellow men.”

Life is really good. Every time I have a breakdown it is turning point and things dramatically improve. Things had been slowing down for me in Rosario. I had been feeling more and more like I should move on and could be of more service elsewhere, and I had been waiting for a while from a response from Junta, the national institute, as to where and when I was leaving. I was patiently waiting and wasn’t feeling any negative feelings but then I had a dramatically negative experience with my “family.” We basically fought like we never had and I was crying hysterically and went to a locutorio to call my dad and contact various people, telling them I needed to get out of Rosario ASAP. As a result, the process of my travel plans was expedited (is that the word?) and I left a couple days later. But by the next day, Barbara had already left me a note on the table saying she was sorry about last night and then we talked for a really long time later and resolved our differences. Really most problems are only a result of miscommunication or misunderstanding. Every time we have had conflicts, we seem to get closer afterwards. So I left Rosario on thursday afternoon on good terms with everyone, though I didn’t have time to say goodbye to everyone. I arrived at 3 AM in Rio Gallegos, the southern most city of continental Argentina, or in other words freakin cold! It had been pretty cool in Rosario as well, but incidentally as soon as I left the heat returned. Just my luck. So here I am in Rio Gallegos for 2 weeks. What a difference to be here and to feel from the Bahais that I am actually wanted! As I had known, because the reason I came was because the most active Bahai here had been at the National Convention and was crying, begging someone to come serve in her community because she can´t go on doing everything alone. There are very few Bahais here, even fewer active, but these few are really strong Bahais and really desiring to serve. The only thing missing then, was a tutor, and here I am. It´s almost pointless to say, but it is so much more worthwhile serving people that want to be served and that want to serve, rather than not…in Rosario it was like pulling teeth, as my dad would say. Rosario was the only cluster by the time of the national convention that was a goal cluster and hadn’t reached the IPG by Ridvan…and it was the cluster that I was in..and that´s what I felt like, that I was just there, because alas, you can´t force a community to pull together and organize…and I just couldn’t go on living there happily…incidentally, Barbara has sent me several text messages saying how much they miss me and that I am a part of the family and asking how they are treating me here.. So God really knows what was achieved by me being in Rosario, but at least I gained a new family and they gained me. And she also informs me of many advancements in Rosario in the last couple days. They are actually starting a teaching campaign in the Toba neighborhood and my two participants of book 7 are actually going to start tutoring! She says all of the tutors are tutoring now! I am in shock! I guess I really did have to leave! Another thing I did do right before I left was start a book 1 study circle with 2 seekers (one of which I met in an elevator) and one Bahai and another tutor took over for me and she says it is going great. Another good reason to leave. It is much better to give opportunities to serve to the locals.
Apart from having to leave Rosario, I really had to come to Rio Gallegos as well, I believe. We already started a book 1 study circle with the daughter of Silvia, Marcela, and a couple of her friends from college. It was wonderful and I can´t believe the progress we made..Almost half of the book in a couple hours but it didn’t feel rushed at all. They are just high capacity people. We had so much fun with the arts and we will finish next saturday. The participants were surprised how much they liked it. The secret…don’t tell them what you are inviting them for beforehand. We are also wanting to start another book 1 and a couple people need to do books 2, 3, and 4…we will see how much we can accomplish in a couple weeks. Already the granddaughter, who is 15, is asking if I can stay forever, but we all know it isn´t me, it´s the Word of God. It is helping unite the family.

Woooow it has been a month since I last wrote. What happens to time? Well time is certainly much less significant here so I guess it´s rubbing off on me, out of necessity mainly. A whole lot has changed in the way of my future plans, both in Argentina and in the States, to the extent that I basically have none..haha. And so we are back at square one, but actually every moment we are back at square one. I had been planning on going home a couple months early, in May, becuase I had felt I couldnt do much more here and that it would be nice to see my fam and friends again. And in the process of thinking about what day exactly to go home, I recieved an email from the community of Burzaco, which I have mentioned before. It is outside of Buenos Aires and it is basically the most active community in the country, no doubt in large part because it has the Yazdanis, the family that descended from heaven. So they requested the honor of my service in their community because they have just formed an additional Assembly and there is a lot to do. So I decided to take them up on their offer, or on my offer, and go there right about....now. Then I went to National Convention in Buenos Aires for the weekend because I had been asked to help with reception, and when I got there, not to my surprise, they were all set and didnt need any more help. But I was glad I had an excuse, perhaps a Divine excuse, to go to Convencion, which is open to anyone here. The whole weekend, I went in and out of the meeting hall, listening for a little bit, and then losing interest or not being able to pay attention and going out into the hall, where there were always the socializers. This was the third big Bahai gathering I had been to in Argentina/Uruguay, and every time there is an overwhelming sense of love and unity. There is always a great Divine power that descends in gatherings of Bahais which seems to be the same in every part of the world. So anyway, I was so excited to be around so many Bahais that I spent most of the time socializing and getting to know people. And many opportunities arose, complicating my future a bit, but perhaps making it more interesting as well. During the convention at one point when I wasnt there, a woman was crying, begging for someone to come to her community. She lives at the very southern point of the continent, just north of Tierra del Fuego, in other words, cold. Also, Tibisay, who runs the insitutute in Chaco, asked me to help with a campaign in Chaco for the month of June, visiting the different communities, and we are talking very rural, very indigenous, would probably be a very worthwhile service and experience, but very much dengue. We joked about it afterwards...I could go there, die from dengue, be a martyr and be burried next to May Maxwell! But all jokes aside, every place has its advantages and disadvantages, some more extreme than others, but in every square inch of the world there is service to be done, and how far (literally and figuratively) are we willing to go to serve the Cause of God? So these two opportunities arose, and I also talked to several people from Burzaco at the convention, and the message I got from them was that there are always things to do in Burzaco, so I should go where it is more urgent first (the lady in the south) and then go to Burzaco. And I slowly became more detached from myself and my need to know whats going on in my life and realized I just need to be focused on service. So it was very important that I went to convention for the reason of making these connections and plans. Also, I just love the Bahai Administrative Order, and I get really emotional during Bahai elections because I feel the Divine Presence. I happened to walk into the hall during the announcement of the new National Assembly members. They all went to the front and stood up when their names were called and I almost started crying because Tibisay was newly elected and was crying for a good 15 minutes. Later, two Irish guys showed up that are traveling around the world and speak no spanish, so I talked to them a while, along with the many other English speakers. One of them is a Bahai and one isnt but is close, and they are just traveling but do some service if an opportunity arises. A few of us have friends in common with them...the Bahai world is so small. They are supposedly stopping by Rosario next so I hope to see them again. The last day we went to the grave of May Maxwell, martyr, mother of Ruhiyyih Khanum, who journeyed to Argentina to pioneer as a way of thanking Shoghi Effendi for marrying her daughter. She was old, and not in the best of health, and the day after she arrived in Buenos Aires she passed away and was buried in Quilmes, about an hour away. I had been waiting for this day for a while, because it is a very significant spot, and because I had to fulfill my dad´s profecy that I would go and that it would be a very significant experience. This was a historical visit because it was the first time such a large group of Bahais had visited together. Representatives from each cluster said prayers for the advanvement of the Cause and we sang a couple of prayers together. It was very nice and I was sad to leave everyone and go back to Rosario, but such is life. Anyway now I have to focus on inviting people to the big party we are having this saturday for the launching of the IPG. It is going to be like an introduction to the Faith and and invitation to the core activities. It is very last minute and I hope it is a success. Peace.

I´m back. It really is hard to keep up with a blog and try to live my life at the same time, especially since I dont have a computer, I feel bad visiting people in their houses and using their computer for a while, and the computer place I was going to got robbed at gunpoint. (Luckily I wasnt there when it happened, but the guy that works there told me about it the next day, leaving me with little motivation to return..) Oh yea, I was trying not to tell people how common robbery is here so they wouldnt worry about me...Dont worry. I take the necessary precautions. It´s just one more reason that I am looking forward to going home. But anyway, in general I have been more content and emotionally stable. I think what helped was when Leonora told me that I should just look at my experience here as that...an experience, and not try too hard to feel completely at home because it doesnt have to be my home. It is just a stop on the journey of life..haha. And as much as we know that "the earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens" we all have different homes within the country. And Abdu´l-Baha says that when we go travel teaching and leave the post, we should wipe the dust from off our feet. I still havent decided when I´m going home and I dont want to until last minute..so I guess I am aquiring South American traits, as in no planning. Also what helped me was what my dad said the other day...that my expectations are too high- both for other people and for myself and what I feel like I need to accomplish here. So I have been choosing to look at the progress that is being made, no matter how small. As long as progress is being made, there is no reason to be unhappy, and there is always some form of act of service to be done at any given moment. One just has to be flexible because it might not be what we thought it was. It is also a matter of humility, because it is not humble to feel like I should be doing everything myself and have a big role in the progress. So I have been learning to appreciate the progress and contributions that others are making. If we are truly one, it doesnt matter who does what really, as long as it gets done, and we eventually, naturally, find our own personal place in the puzzle. One very important quality that I have is my accent. Many places that I go, mainly when buying things, if I send out a friendly vibe, the people ask me where I am from and why I am here, so I always have the opportunity to teach the Faith at least a little. I went to a Shell station last week and it was about the third time I had been there and the man working asked and we talked for a good few minutes. I gave him a Bahai pamphlet and then when I returned a few days later, he said he had read it and it was very interesting. He was talking to a friend so he told me to tell his friend about the Faith. I ended up inviting them both to the Ridvan celebration and gave them by number, and incidentally the second guy wont stop sending me text messages, but I told him straight up, if he wants to talk, we need to get together in person with another friend of mine...
In terms of activities, we almost done with the book 7 that I am tutoring, and our group is going to plan the Ridvan celebration. Shahla had the idea, which I think is great, that we have a couple people present a couple minutes about each Ruhi book, encouraging everyone to participate and signing them up. There will probably be many seekers there so it will be great. It is also the deadline to begin the IPG. In addition, I am tutoring book 6 almost every day with one guy, Sasan, and as a practice we invited his friend over yesterday. He just invited him over to have tea, and we started talking about Ruhi and the friend, Oscar was very attentive and interested. We showed him book 1 and he couldnt put it down! He practically did the whole course in an hour, reading almost all the quotes and asking himself and us the questions. It was a good demonstration of the importance of flexibility. I had sort of intended to do Anna´s presentation, but we only used it for the diagram of the Manifestations of God. Once he understood that, he acted like he was already a Bahai, going straight to the writings for all the answers and completely fascinated with what he was learning. And I dont think he had had much interaction with the Faith before. Sasan and I will reflect about the experience today. In addition to the fact the someone was put in contact with the Word of God, it was a direct practice of the study of book 6, so we are fulfilling the purpose of the study circle- developing our capacity to teach. I am also planning the feast for this wednesday. I am looking forward to my first feast in Rosario...and only my second feast in Argentina...how pathetic. But yay, progress...I will find a way to incorporate music. I really think a big reason for the lack of a vital Bahai community life is the lack of the presence of the arts. Ok I am at a loss for words now. I wont mention the fact that I dragged myself out of bed early today, took the bus all the way to Barbara´s work to pick of the paper I need to pick up my package from mom, took a taxi to the post office, didnt have enough small bills to pay, waited in the wrong line for 10 minutes, 10 minutes before they closed, went to the other line, waited for 5 minutes, when they finally told me they had already closed. I wanted to kill someone. So that is how I ended up finding a locutorio and using this computer. I am killing time rather than people, but really I´m glad that I wrote in my blog. And I guess I did mention what I said I wouldnt, and if nothing else, I hope you laughed. Much love.

Well, I think this is going to be another downer entry. I keep meaning to write in my blog and not having a chance to, so it would have been a happier entry if I wrote before. I swear, I am not always depressed. But I am now. I feel like I dont belong here and I really wish I had at least one close friend here who was always there for me and we could have deep conversations and help eachother on the path of service and we could understand each other. I feel like the atmosphere is too superficial and people dont listen enough to each other and people dont care enough about serving others. And I feel like people dont really appreciate me, or dont show it, and if I left tomorrow it wouldnt matter. Maybe I am being self centered, but the truth is, I really want to help others and I feel like they arent very open to my help and could live with or without me. I really need to meet new people and make new friends. I welcome any suggestions in that area. I want to go home often, but I am doing things here and slowly making progress I think. I also think maybe I should go to another community, or at least travel around a little for fun. I had a dream a couple weeks ago that I was in the most beautiful place in the world. There were mountains and flowers and water and I was with many loved ones and I felt like I was in Argentina somewhere but I´m not sure. I want to find that place. Maybe it´s inside me, I dont know.

Well, I havent been as cheery as I was last time I wrote. I still consider going home as often as twice a day, but usually end up convincing myself or become inspired to stay, or realize that I can make progress here. It seems like everything that can go wrong is going wrong. My debit card was captured several times in ATM machines and I finally called the bank today and found out that I was issued a new card a couple months ago for security reasons and that my parents threw it away...Now I need to wait at least a couple weeks for my new card to arrive in Argentina. Until then, I have about 2 dollars to my name, but I hopefully can borrow some money from a Bahai institution soon...So that is what my last few days have consisted of, retrieving my useless card from machines and traveling downtown and calling people... I actually did what I have always thought unimaginable for myself...for lack of thinking of anything better to do, and for pity for myself, and hopelessness, I escaped to my bed in the afternoon despite having gotten more than enough sleep already. The thought of me turning into that kind of person really scared me and I almost started crying at the thought of it, and luckily Barbara came into my room and tried to knock some sense into me...I said I wanted to die or kill myself as I always do when I get in a bad mood and feel hopeless, and she said, "Ok, kill yourself. Good idea. Baha'u'llah forbids it but do it!" And I started laughing and eventually got out of bed. If that woman wasnt so funny I dont know what I would do. I also have been saying I am fat lately because really I am gaining weight because they feed me too well, and last night she said, "si, sos una vaca!" (Yes, you´re a cow!) I usually dont react well to those kind of comments but from her I do for some reason. Anyway so when I got out of bed we sat at the kitchen table and made plans. We are both in agreement, along with my dad who knows everything, that we should focus wholeheartedly on the children, and we cant wait around for the adults to get their act together. We have to have 4 childrens classes before we can begin an IPG anyway and right now we have 2. We are going to visit the neighborhood of the Bahai center where we already have classes but they arent very well attended, and invite more families to participate. In the process, we can teach them about the Faith if they are interested, and invite them to study circles as well. We also want to open childrens classes in a second indigenous neighborhood as well as in a neighborhood of a seeker, in which several families have already confirmed their participation. Anyway I am really glad it is the fast right now because I really really need it. My relationship with God hasnt been as good as it was due to my feelings of hopelessness...Anyway I am fine. Such is life...it will improve. I feel useful right now because I am watching Emilio, the 11 year old who I live with (when he isnt with his dad). Everyone else went off to various places. I need to go because I keep thinking in spanish and I´m having a hard time putting the right english words together, or it just doesnt feel right to use english to refer to all of these things which are occurring in spanish. I am probably not even making sense. I dont feel good about this entry. Bye.